Are you a Victim?

By Deborah O’Rell They were fired. It might have been through a restructuring, business was down or, simply, they weren’t wanted anymore. Sometimes, it’s not important how someone came to lose his or her job. The feeling is still the same… their job was taken away from them.

It’s a reality. Losing a job causes great pain and suffering brought on by loss of income (no money), loss of self esteem a job brings (they don’t need or want me, I’m worthless), or through loss of an identity (who or what am I now?)

It’s a challenging position to be in. Your mettle is truly tested.

And yet, it is in this moment, that you can choose how you wish to define yourself.


In this moment, you have the opportunity to make a choice. You can see yourself as the victim of these circumstances with no control. That the universe moved things around to put you in this position so you could feel victimized. Something was done to you that you had no control over.

Yes, I am the victim.

How disempowering does that sound?

How can you turn this around for yourself?


How does one take back their power? How do you get your mojo moving again, to shift the energy to something that can be helpful and supportive?


1) Firstt, learn the lesson. Our choices create our lives. What we believe about life or ourselves is exactly what will show up. Henry Ford said ‘if you think can or you think you can’t, either way your right’. Try making the empowering choice.

2) Teach or share it. This is helpful in several ways. Helping others helps you. Who doesn’t feel better after you’ve done something nice for another. And by sharing the information, you reinforce the lesson for yourself. Alcoholics Anonymous is set up in a way that once you learn how to do it, you are encouraged to help someone else. Knowledge is empowering.

3) Incorporate the new knowledge into your life. Put into practice what you just learned. Make a commitment to shifting your behavior. If you don’t use it, you lose it. If you learned the consequence for not speaking up for yourself, find places you can make your feelings known. Start small. Maybe speak up when you’re at a restaurant and the soup is not as hot as you’d like. Or telling your friend you would prefer not to see a movie but would rather go hiking. These are small steps but over time will help you build up your emotional muscles.


Consider one last lesson. Remember you are not your job. Manager, lawyer, Supervisor, Vice President are only titles. You are much more than that. You have an important purpose in this lifetime. You are here to evolve and awaken to your true nature. We draw into our lives those experiences that will help us move forward to serving our purpose.

For example, you may be divorced but from that relationship came these beautiful children. Maybe part of your purpose was not to be in that relationship for a lifetime but to create and share the raising of these children.

The same is true for every single experience. You found yourself in that job, with those people, having those awful experiences. Why? You can make the choice of the WHY. Maybe it’s because the purpose was to move you along your path; to learn that lesson which will propel you to the next level. The Universe, your soul, a higher power, whatever you call it, has guided and informed your actions to serve your higher purpose.

Affirmation to consider,

On this day I will remember who I AM, why I AM here and why I chose these experiences to come into my life.