Whenever we allow fear to inform our decisions or choices, it rarely works out for us.
Should I stay in this relationship?
Should I go for that bucket list item?
Should I stay in this job or is it time to leave?
Am I doing work that is a positive contribution to the world or makes me happy?
Or am I staying in a soul-sucking job?
It all boils down to either a choice made from love or one made from fear.
When we come to our decision from a place of love, we’re not bound by limitations or judgments. We have more of ourselves available to call upon. Our hearts are open to possibility. We’re making a decision from our highest or best selves. The choice itself makes us feel good. The right-ness of it rings true within us.
Decisions made from fear just don’t feel good. They leave us feeling compromised and disappointed in ourselves. We’re not doing the thing we long to do or we know we need to do; we’ve rationalized and accepted to keep the status quo. We’ve settled for less than.
You let yourself down when you act out of fear.
I stayed with a job for thirteen years out of fear. Oh, I loved the work I did just not where I was doing it. I was afraid to leave. And yet staying caused me such suffering. I knew even before I started that I shouldn’t go work there. My inner wisdom was not only talking to me but was screaming DON’T DO IT.
But I had my magic thinking working overtime and I convinced myself it could work out. And I ignored that little voice within me.
Each year I would say ‘this is it, I’m done, I’m out of here’. Then my fears would take over and I’d think who will hire me? How will I pay the rent? How will I support my kids? And the rationalizing would begin again. Oh, it’s not so bad. Look at the good things. Just one more year. I can fix this.
The suffering.
People calling our office are, in one way or other, suffering as well. They either don’t belong where they’re working and feel hopeless to do anything but work there. They site the economy or how hard it is to find a job. They’re unable to see a future of anything else.
Or they actually love the work they do but the environment is dysfunctional or hurtful and they feel powerless to change it.
Either way, they are in an unsustainable situation. Something is going to eventually give. Either they will ultimately be terminated or they’ll end up quitting. And if your civil rights are being violated, this is the worst thing you can do.
This is when you come to the moment of truth, of decision, of choice. Will you choose love? Or fear? Will you reach for your higher self to be all you can be? Or will you take the lower road?
I keep Marianne Williamson’s quote near me as a reminder.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? ….
Your playing small does not serve the world…. We are all meant to shine…..”
Tags: Quitting a job, #dontquit, choices, career change, women’s rights, transformation